dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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