It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
