ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
