my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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