Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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