Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
