Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
