I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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