K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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