there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
