I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
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