I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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