Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
