i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
