so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
