We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Someone came in the potted fern
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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