Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
