Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
