Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
