you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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