My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
