did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
