Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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