I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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