i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Congratulations! We have a period
How naked do you want me to be?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
