Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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