R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
