yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
