she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
