that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
