You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize