you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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