Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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