how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We are two peas in an std pod
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize