I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I know her cup size but not her name....
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