If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
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