Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
