laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize