I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
