walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
