god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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