You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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