her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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