That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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