i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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