Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
