you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
