Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
