im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I need to calm my uterus...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
