just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
