you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I looked at my own cervix.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
