And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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