Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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