it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
