Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize