I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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