Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
