she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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