this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
