whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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