he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
