Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
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spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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