I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.