If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
