i permit you to call me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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