Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
