Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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