If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize