dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
