So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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